Book 2, Chapter 3, Verse 8 - Spell Daddy

Our heroes trudge through the vast frozen tundra of Rash Qiyah, on a collision course with Club Fun Times. Their plan: infiltrate the “re-education” camp and make contact with someone named Neddy. What’s the worst that could happen? Did Mona & the Disaster Boys raise any suspicions on the Copper Baron? How cold does it get at night in the arctic? Find out answers to all these and more on this shockingly cold new verse of Weal or Woe!

** SPOILER ALERT **

We start off this session talking about how Mona and the Disaster Boys levelled up to Level 11 and something fun that they got. Mona got Exalt which enhances her Liberating Step to give others a step if they don't have to break out of something. Anisette got a broken feat, becoming trained in everything. Sabux got 6th level spells and now can disintegrate creations if they fail the fort save. Yeesh.

We drop back into the action, our heros trudge through the Frozen Wastes. Mona on Yarl, Sabux on Ogo and Ani on Pogo and following some information from The Rat at the Copper Baron, they're off to see 'his man' Neddy working at Club Fun Times. Sabux casts Endure Elements to fight the cold. Mona and Ani take some damage from the cold and then Sabi helps them out with the same spell. They roll a survival check to make sure they don't get lost and nail it. The sun goes down and where they would be taking serious damage and fatigue, they aren't. Thanks Spell Daddy!

They can see the imposing square wall of the prison as they approach, with torches lit on the top. Everyone gets darkvision as Sabux slits his eyes open and weirdly Mona takes a potion instead. They circle the place to find out some information. They see blank stone wall and the one gated entrance. They attempt to make a plan, Mona dons the mask and they are going to go in and ask for shelter as research explorers heading North. As they approach they can see a goblin shaking sitting at a desk outside on the other side of the gates. They claim Principus told them to stop here. They roll and the Goblin goes to check something and then the gates open. They find out his name is Neddy and they drop the Rat's name and Neddy escorts them through a tented guarded area where everyone looks exposed and freezing cold. He takes you into an office area and tells them to wait.

We rewind through time for a moment and we see Posterior Stephanos watching Mona and the Disaster Boys exit the Copper Barron, and looks at The Rat and wags his finger at him to come over. He grills The Rat about what he knows about them, and surprisingly The Rat only says they were scientists headed to Club Fun Times. He sends Dwarves after the heroes and gets on his sending stone and starts talking.

We fade back to the crew waiting in this office room and it's been 15 mins and no one has come to see them yet. It suddenly occurs to Laura, James and Woody that they have willingly put themselves in Prison but not to Sabi, Ani and Mona... yet. They do some quick perception checks and things and find that they're locked into this room. NOW they think to do Sense Motive check on Neddy and realise that his ears were totally twitching when he spoke to them. (JULZ: only now? YOU FOLX TRUST TOO MUCH... OMG I'm stressed) They check the locked door for traps, find a poison trap and they get ready. Saul collar and pickaxe is out, potions get drunk, and Ani disarms the trap but not opens the door. The chime of opening is tried and nope, then they try one more time and it opens. They roll a stealth check which fails bad, but he has a look outside. There are Vez troops outside standing in formation staring at the door and waiting.

There is a lot of planning and looking at their character sheets here desperately trying to figure out a way out of here. Time is passing as they plan, things will be happening and it's possibly going to get worse. Sabi gets his bloody bloodsoaked crow wings out ready to fly, Ani pulls out a smoke stick to conceal them and Mona is ready to kill people one at a time. Sabi goes first, he flies up, black veins and black wings screaming in Orcish for Orcs to rise up and resist these soldiers trying to enslave you. The Orcs stare up and listen, they get rowdy and this old Orc comes forward and says looking at Sabi "This is the one". At that Sabi seeing the soldiers start to prod at the Orcs with pikes as they push they back against the wall, breathes Flamestrike out of his mouth. Demon dogs and charred shambling corpses pour out of Sabi's mouth as fire rains on this Squadron of Vez Soldiers. The Orcs go wild at this and seem to believe that Sabi is some kind of foretold savior.

Ani runs forward at another group and hiffs an alchemist fire in the middle of a group. It hits and one soldier emulates in a pillar of fire and 5 of the others around him go up in flames. Mona runs at full tilt wearing the Daughter of Hate mask with intimidating glare, and scares two soldiers so badly they turn and run. It's the soldiers turn, there is a commander on the wall with two crossbow men on either side and he orders to fire on Sabux. Two of the crossbow bolts hit with a decent hit of 20 damage. Soldiers rally and swing at Mona, axes bounce off her armor as she runs through the crowd. After taking the hit, he turns to the wall where the bolts came from, and his head starts to shake and his head pops open and a massive bat comes out, flies over to the wall. Vampiric Exsanguination is cast and this 20ft bat rips the soldiers apart and their blood flies through the air towards Sabux as he sucks it up into himself.

Ani having seen that, considers going into 20 soldiers with the Gloomblade (JULZ: YES James. I would have hated you!!!! Glad you're scared enough of me to try to survive in a fight. hahahaha) Instead throws another Alchemist fire setting another on fire and 2 more set fire as well. And again with a crit! This time getting one real hard and 13 more around with splash damage. He uses his fourth/third action to pull out the Gloomblade and screams "This is for Jewelz!" (JULZ: fuck I love you guys so much. ahahahaha). Mona has been running for the Orcs against the wall and shouting about "Pick up weapons as you go!" which Sabux is translating into Orcish. Nat 20 gets her right into melee range with this dude poking the Orcs with the pike, and a crit gets this dude real dead as she pretends to be his head for a second.

The bad dudes get another turn again, Ani is surrounded by 5 soldiers and gets hit 3 times for 21 damage. Mona is attacked with a man with a pike and manages to get a hit in. Sabux looks over at Ani and points at the ground and casts Spiritual Guardian, the ground shakes and a giant armored Black Knight covered with Demonic Buildings/Ruins flanks with Ani and swings it's war hammer down on one of the soldiers which crushes into mush and explodes. Ani gets covered in blood. Then Sabi's chest rips open and a giant beating heart comes out to float in front of him to form a shield. Ani attacks the three around him, and one of them drops as his Achilles heel is sliced, one is missed and the other is still up after taking some serious damage. Mona has 19 soliders in the near vicinity but also a bunch of orcs. She steps into range to get two of them, they miss their opportunity to hit her and slices a dudes legs right off and drops another. Eight dudes step up to attack, Mona blocks a few hits and shrugs off the rest. Ani is attacked but the Guardian soaks up the damage.

Sabux sustains the guardian to keep protecting his friend, and flies towards Mona. Ani swings again at the soliders in front of him. Hits the both of them and drops them as one of them screams out for Phoebe. Mona has angry dudes around her and she's in her element. She steps in between two of them (JULZ: coz that's where she likes it), drops two of them and turns to face the next one. The orcs pick up the discarded weapons, the dude in front of Ani swings his axe at him. Ani uses one of the dead dudes (Ross) to protect himself. Mona takes a few spears to the body (19) as her thigh, shoulder and cheek has taken hits. Sabux is flying above the orcs and heads towards the heavy tusked old knarled Orc, grabs his face and casts heal on him. He is very grateful. Ani is asking the soldier if this is really what he wants, and Chandler falls to his knees and surrenders. Mona gives the piked men in front of her a chance to stop fighting, 7 of them are convinced to throw down their weapons but 8 are still fighting. Mona moves again to fight, drops one causally and glaringly walk towards one of them, who is totally frightened. The piked men close in towards you and they're trying really hard to kill her but they're failing. Sabi casts Flamestrike on 3 of the ones with no weapons and then his fingers grow into snakes and they reach out to bite a soldier with Harm. He's not down but he's hurting.

Ani sees his Guardian go away, and licks the blood off his arms in a vain attempt to get stronger like Sabi does. He leans down to the surrendered soldier and asks about Neddy. He finds out that Neddy dropped the gate and broke the mechanism, trying to trap them until reinforcements came. Ani also finds out that Neddy must be there somewhere, because there is no way out. Chandler doesn't know when the reinforcements are coming and he starts crying, even under intimidation he isn't sure where Neddy is. Ani ties them up as his third/second of four actions and for his fourth starts searching for Neddy in the nearest tower building. He moves to kick it down and fails.

Mona swings again and kills one dude. The Orcs swarm over these pikemen and Ani cracks a BAD pun about pikegones. Sabi tells the Orcs to find supplies and Neddy and bring them to him. Chief Gorfang, father of Bodel introduces himself at this point and Sabi starts and asks frantically about where she is and if she is ok. But we'll have to wait to find out how she is in the next episode...

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