Book 2, Chapter 3, Verse 4 - Do They Kiss? Do They Kiss?

Our heroes set sail on Dragon's Breath, the trusty vessal of Capt. Johnathon Fogsmoore. With a jaunty crew, Mona & the Disaster Boys set sail from the seaport of Marconia to the militaristic colony of Syprionus, on the frozen continent of Rash Qiyah. What's the worst that could happen? Find out now on this soggy new verse of Weal or Woe! And no. We didn't all forget Claudius' name as soon as it was said. That's not why our DM started calling him Master of Sails. The Blind Rat just wanted to give him a title. Sure... that's the ticket.

** SPOILER ALERT **

We rejoin Mona & the Disaster Boys as Sabux casts Read Omens. All this build up to ask: "Will we reach Rash Qiyah within the week?" and the answer comes right back as "Nope." from The Blind Rat. Well... that was a quick answer and it's all done.

They wake up in the morning, Sabi wakes up first sneaks into Mona's room with a bucket of water and wakes her up with pouring water on her face. She retaliates with a punch to the face. These troublemakers go downstairs to have "breakfast on a half-shell" before heading to see Johnathon Fogsmoore again. He's a kilt man they see with a very firm ass. He cocks an eyebrow at Mona and she responds with the common custom of baring one breast (Which must be super hard in her armour.) discussing duties on board and heading to his ship "Dragons Breath".

He outlines what they should expect sailing the next 10 days to Rash Qiyah and what to find in Syprionus when you get there. There's some tasks to do along the way; fishing, navigation and tacking sails etc. Mona is paired up with a short squat human with bleached white hair, furry beard and sunburn skin. She gets hustled around the ship as she gets put to work by Claudius. Annisette is up by the wheel near a long curly brown haired woman, wearing leather pants, brown shirt and leather vest. Claudia is steering the ship through some gnarly squalish weather and Ani starts figuring out how to navigate the open ocean. Sabux is fishing on the big lines with the harness you hook yourselves into. There's a dude there with long blond hair, no beard and no shirt either (nice) who has devastating and piercing green eyes and on the other side is Capt Fogsmoore. Sabux gets Nudey McNuderson and introduces himself to Gulba. There's some tugging and flexing going on (Julz: Laura - yup I'm feeling something too!), it's a real battle. Sabux gets a helping hand with his tugging as Gulba wraps around him (Julz: *feeling flushed* is it getting hot in here...??) and they haul a giant salmon on board.

It's been a big day on board but Mona & the Disaster Boys have managed themselves well. At the end of the day there's some time to ask questions and hang out. They find out about The Rat, the long time bartender at the Copper Barron. He's a son of a B and a greedy bastard to boot, but he knows everyone and has his finger in all the pies. Mona is warned to cover her ears if she wants to go unnoticed as of the three, she is the most uncommon. After some chat they hit the hammacks.

The next day is a much nicer day and today Ani is back on Navigation but up in the crows nest this time impressing Claudia. He checks they're still on track and scampers down to tell Claudia. He has a go on the wheel with Claudia's encouragement but it doesn't go well as a wave smacks and lifts him a bit. Mona is back with the Master of Sails (Claudius - Joey?) and she's nailing it. Claudius pronounces her "a natural born maiden of the sea" and they Xena-like celebrate. Sabux and Gulba are Titanic style spread into the wind, no shirts, one pair of pants on a ship/boat thing. Great movie. Would see. Gulba is from a small town in Vez Empire and tells Sabux that it's illegal for Vez Empire to enter the Free Cities now. His dream is to get hooked up with Raven Moonshadow's ship "Pirates Kiss", who we learn is a Pirate that works in Southern Waters of Tikon. Sabux promises to try to get him an introdcution. (Julz: I want Fan Fic of Sabux and Gulba so bad).

It's been a very successful day again and Sabux is questioning about Tattoos. (Julz: Please tell me it's a ruse to get into Gulba's room? ... hahahahaha LAURA - SNAP DUDE. I was thinking the same thing.) Sabux is getting Yarl inked and things get a little ... teasing as therer is some keyhole peering. (Julz: also it's very rude to kink shame someone, so be nicer to the Voyeur. Haha.)

Third day on the journey Ani sees that weird Island again, that's not an Island at all it's a creature. Or an Iceburg? oh crap, it's got a giant shell. We know what's coming. DRAGON TURTLE. Claudius points out the ballista to Mona and she 'Grabs her ranged weapon' and mounts up. Ani is up the crowsnest and he loads up an acid flask to fire when it comes within range. Sabux breathes and this etheral blood soaked version of Sabux walks out of his body, they spit in each others mouths before joining again (casting Heroism). There's some serious confusion about the Prow (which is totally the front) and then the monstrous shell is right there.

Mona shoots a thick crossbow bolt (25) but it bounces off the shell. Ani is high up but tries for the shot and it misses. Sabux strides to the side of the ship, snaps his head back and splits his face open. A fiery demon crawls out, loads himself into a cannon and hits the side but steams it out.. ooop or does it? ... hell yea it takes 12 damage! Nice catch Woody. Sabux forms a blood dog as his shield this time, and then a bunch of fairies start crawling out of his shoulder blades, form together and they help him to fly. Ani fires an acid flask (31) for 1d. Johnathon Fogsmoore yells about loud noises for next time as the tortle rams the boat. Everyone holds on, except for Claudia who goes flying off the back of the boat. but the tortle sizzles as it take acid damage (9d)

Mona is back up with a ballista (NAT 20) and hits it's long fleshy neck (32d) as it lets out a crazy high pitched noise. Sabux is poised to fly but Gulba is staring at him scared, he flies to him and pulls him up to safety. Gulba is hesitant to take his hand (probably because he split his own body open to cast spells and it's freaky as all shit) but does so and thatnks Sabi. Ani is loading up an Alchemist fire and firing it. I think James forgot it's immune to fire? Nice try to cover that Laura. Johnathon Fogsmoore does some sick sailing and they all stay standing on board. It takes more sizzling acid damage as Mona focuses up on the ballista and fires again (31) and it smacks into a fin this time (27) squealing again in response. Sabux is searching for Claudia and it takes a minute but he finds her and flies towards where she is. She's floundering in the water not far away but she's starting to struggle.

Ani is creating a Thunderstone and shooting and Joey eats two tasty Hero Point candies and it still doesn't do it. There's another tasty candy HP eaten and then the Thunderstone hits and booms across the water. The tortle takes damage and plunges down beneath the ship away from the people causing it damage. We'll see if it resurfaces on the next episode!