Book 2, Chapter 3, Verse 6 - The Most Least Sexiest Thing

Their scripts in hand, Mona & the Disaster Boys prepare themselves for their most challenging mission yet; to put on a play! Will they remember their lines? Will they trip when they walk on stage? Where will they find an audience in the middle of an ocean? These answers and more on this thesbianic new verse of Weal or Woe.

** SPOILER ALERT **

This episode starts with an amazing singing session before we get into the action. There's 4 days left on this trip and the crew of Dragon's Breath have all been studying their lines for the upcoming play "Two Moons Kiss". We join Ani as he reads over the lines of his part as 'The Lunar Demon'. He is trying to convince Prince Gravitron not to hook up with Princess Cork. Sabux is rehearsing with Gulba and Johnathon, they are playing the roles of the three Fates. They're running through their lines and no one is sailing right now. They're organising props like bellows and flour. (JULZ: you know flour and flame doesn't mix right? That's pretty much explosion material.) and Sabux and Gulba are discussing using magic to create affects while Johnathon is trying to get them to not blow up the boat. Sabi is getting right into the egotistical actors mode of needing a specialized costume just for him. Hahahaha. Oh here we go. Gulba and Sabux are getting a little frisky about Chrisco (while James get Prudey McPrudeFace again and says that's Gross).

Mona is finding out that her part has her swoony over Prince Gravitron but awkwardly she's been instructed to kill him after their wedding night. Her character does not want to though. Mona talks to Claudia about her vision about her costume, silver gauzy robes and lighter skin. Claudia is a bit wound up about Mona kissing her Dad, it's the keystone of the whole scene. They discuss the major themes of the play, telling a tale of their love being so strong that they got taken into the sky and now the two moons look over us all from the heavens.

There's a storm coming but the whole crew has been distracted, it's time to get back to work on the boat/ship. Ani is back up the crows nest and Mona is back working with Claudius (which Claudia seems really keen on) and Sabux is back fishing, a fisher of men today. (HERO POINT deserved). Mona is spanking her withers, and Claudius is pretty keen on that, totally enthralled by her. The ship is moving fast today due to Mona's (Nat 20) superior skills. Gulba and Sabux are jerking it hard and pull up a giant fish, two people sweating and breathing hard, and wrestling to pin it down. (JULZ: I know Laura! Freaking upsetting how little kissing is happening right now). Ani stands up after going over his lines, and spots a rocky outcropping with remnants of a boat smashed on it. He can see a figure frantically waving as it clings to the rocks over to the west. He yells back to Johnathon (JULZ: hahahahahaha Mona you called it. James really didn't give enough info.) about what's going on and tries to guide him to get close without smashing themselves.

Mona drops the anchor and Sabi and Gulba head out in a rowboat, bailing and rowing over in the building storm. Sabux jumps out to save the very grateful Octavius on the rocks. He mistrustfully lets him on board, but snaps at him about all the religious references. They make it back on board safety and the crew get underway again putting the storm behind them. They find out Octavius is a fisherman from the Syprionus colony and Mona is a little worried about her appearance giving them away. They take him downstairs to help him out with his injuries and ask some more questions. He tells them a little about Syprionus and his past Captain Curt Vanguard and he asks what they're doing out here. Anisette spills the beans about what they're there to do and suddenly Octavius is pretty unsettled. Mona and the Disaster Boys scramble to decide what to do with him now, to murder or to spin this? The make a haphazard plan to 'leave' Mona on the boat and then they will meet disguised Mona at the Copper Tavern.

They meet up with Fogsmoore at the dining table for halibut steaks and to discuss the plan. They eat 'steak' with a spoon and have a red wine with fish. (JULZ: Joey.... you should be ashamed of yourself. Hahahahaha). He agrees with the plan and Claudia grills them if they're going to be ready for the show in a day or two.

Claudia and Mona have a heart to heart about what it's like to be an elf and remember a lot of things and be cursed. Claudia drops a truth bomb about her own curse, the curse of being magical. Turns out she can transform appearance. Mona has this beautiful response about making choices and what a difference that your choices can make in the world. (JULZ: I nearly cried. So damn beautiful). Then says goodnight and the crew all go to bed.

The next day starts with Claudia producing the first official rehearsal. Anisette nails his part as the Lunar Demon, Sabux is not getting good unison going on with his fellow fates and Mona is a stiff and unnatural Princess. Claudia is unimpressed and they all retire to their rooms, reading lines and determined to be better tomorrow. Sabux is lonely thinking about Bodel when there is a knock at his door. Its Gulba. (JULZ: Well I'm excited) Sabux shares his worries and invites him in to hang out. Confesses that he is searching for his own baby, and that there are people after it. They decide to go hang out together with Fogsmoore, drink and play cards. Sabux rounds up the Mona and Ani to come join the fun. Oh hell yes its STRIP POKER. We go over in great detail with what everyone is wearing. They roll for how good their hands are and then roll deception rolls to see how they bluff. Ani is the first one to get naked and Sabux is the last, but everyone is NAKEY. Sabux ends up in Fogsmoore and Gulba's bed after making out for a while. Of course, Ani just focused on his lines while Mona watched and cheered.

The next day dawns in a hungover blur, Claudia sits Octavius down demanding he watch as they line up ready to do their parts. (JULZ: ah decent question tho, who is steering the boat?? hahahaha) The Fates have the opening lines of the play. "The stars and the galaxy align, the hearts become intertwined. For both of these folx while they drink wine, look into each others eyes and become so fine" (JULZ: honestly have no idea if I scribed that correctly because it was hard to hear sorrrrrryyyyy). The curtain raises on Princess Cork who's first line is "I sailed across the ocean to meet my destiny. He does not know I am duplicitous, we shall see what the man himself is like." and then the spotlight hits Ani and he says "Though everything tells you that you should be together, I think that she should do things for her! For things that equal love you cannot share, duplicitious as it may seem. One of these days these rhyme will make a meme." The play gets going with costume changes, passing props, with character progress during the play. They roll for performance (Joey eats a HP from Mona) and Mona gets a 20, Ani gets a 27 and Sabux gets a 19. Octovius is blown away by the show. Afterwards they find themselves in the galley/Greenroom. Claudia is a typical producer, sparing with the compliments but also says she'd love to form a theatre troop with them one day. Sabux tells her about the 9 Hells in Melach where she would always be welcome.

They party AGAIN. Mona ends up naked again partying too hard. Sabux and Ani both end up dressed punching Mona's butt watching it not jiggle so much as be hard as hell. (JULZ: Yup. Good. Thinking about that now.) Ani is puking over the side when Claudia calls "Land Ho!" and spots ships in the harbor with Insignia's that she couldn't identify. Ani goes up and sees 6 ships in the harbor with Lion's flags and markings on it that he doesn't understand. He describes the markings and Mona (NAT 20) figures out that it is the 8th cohort of the 7th legion of the Vez army. Fogsmoore asks about number, and tells them that it means there is 500 more soldiers in the city than there should be. Obviously everyone is shocked but the episode is over and we'll have to find out what happens next time!